wow what a long day.... I went out to the farm to pick some veg with the step son got some funny photos had a good time :) we go a loads only cost £2.00 it will feed us for about 3 days.... I think veg pie... veg stew ....
I am aloud to have a stress I think, one every year is my limit...... and it always come down to cash flow and having to sell everything I have.... I know I always fix it in the end.... just this time my head is blank... I dont like blank :) and i think it is a total lack of a good nights sleep... i need to have a sleep in but my brain gets up at stupid oclock every day.... Take no notice to the crap below lol... i would get rid of it but i want to look back in years at it and think what a tit i was at times.......................
Right I was going to take this blog down tonight because I have had to put my laptop up for sale... I will not have the time to update it... if by any chance I find some way out of this mess I have got us into... if I took more time trying to make money and not trying to be something that I dont ever think I will be.... I need to be a man and look after my family...... sorry if I have messed anyone about with all this... the site did look good didn't it .... well I am off FOR
Well I am up... kids where where washed dressed... and happy thats a good start for the day, lots to do today.. I need to try and make money £133 is not going to get us to next week with 3 kids to feed and 2 adults.....
well it has been a good day in all.... sent something in the post for a friend... hope she likes it.. got to tell my daughter off and that has been a long time coming think about 14 years lol.... i got a bit more done on here some great links for people to take a look at... i hope to put a lot more up tomorrow.. well
TRANSSEXUAL : MTF, FTM, Pre-Op, Post-Op, Non-Op. A person that experiences an intense long term discomfort resulting from the feeling of inappropriateness of their assigned gender role at birth and the discomfort of their body, and whom as a result adapts their gender role and body in order to reflect and be congruent with their gender identity. This may include cross-living, synthesized sex hormones, surgery and other body modification which may or may not lead to the feeling of harmony between a person's body and gender identity.
Just had to give my Daughter a talking too!! she is 14 not bloody 40... I think she got a bit of a shock when her mum and I talked.. she has been playing us both for a long time now.. well she is grounded lost her laptop and phone.. this is only the start if it continues she will lose a lot more.... why do kids think they can get one over on us... I have been there done that and have the Tshirt.... Not very smart lol.....
I didn't get much sleep last night it was way too hot, also had a lot on my mind... "this page for one", is this the right thing to do this is so public?... I also jumped out of bed think it was about 3:00am I was feeling a little ill or in other words like shit!!...
But I am ok now Had my cup of Tea and toast... Oh and I have lost weight wooohooo...... unless the scales are telling me lies.... Right think I need to i them ......
My god I need sleep.... energy drinks dont work on me... well off to sort baby.. then off to bed... I am sure I will Have lots to say tomorrow.... good night xxx
Wow I have just been told by my 14 year old daughter to pissoff... I am so angry at her right now lucky she is with her mum..
what is it with kids of today, if I had done that when I was 14 to my mum, my arse would have been red raw!!!
This is what is needed today lol
I have just gone to post this on my Facebook and noticed... family, friends, that would not understand... because of this crap I have to hide away.. I am at breaking point with some people now....
I look for my soul behind all the lies
The life that I’m living is not my own
My soul is trapped, and I feel so alone
I keep staring and what I see
Is a stranger, it’s not me
It would be hard for me, to make you understand
That I feel that I should be six feet underground
I put on a front so people see that the way
How I look doesn’t effect me to other people they see this shell
So I put on a front so things look well
But deep inside I hate who I am
And I hate myself that much I don’t give a damn
But I do go to sleep with tears in my eyes
Because I know when I wake up I have to live with more lies
I’m taking tablets to help with my pain
And I do feel a little better, but it’s not the same
My mind has changed from being depressed
But everyone sees me as male, and this makes me stressed
My body is changing day by day
People won’t see me as any other way
My heart is screaming, my heart wants to shout
I am female, but this shell won’t let me out
I live in Liverpool, it’s the heart of hate
It is very hard to be true to my state
I tried it once and I got beat down
I was in a puddle of blood on the ground
It wasn’t that bad I had a hit to my head
For that couple of seconds I honestly thought I was dead
I need to be female because it is killing me inside
Because my heart keeps screaming out, but this shell won’t die
Being Transgender or Gay is not a choice, being Transphobic or Homophobic is, so don't be a Twonk