When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne .. The oldman's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Cranky Old Man.....
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... . . .
we will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM,
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart
The other day I got a nasty message and to tell the truth yes it did upset me a little, but not as much as people would have liked it would... I am a better person than you will ever be so please go and crawl under a rock and play with your marbles little boy... oh and thanks what you said has helped me so much and I am now ready to move on with it :) right must go need to sort one or two things out xxxxxxx
Today the site is a year old and what a year it has been, when I first started this place I would not even go out as Karla, my god looking back I missed so much for so long, I have had my ups and downs just like anyone in the year I have gone from what I hated most in the world to what I am today and that is happy, all I can say to people reading this hiding away WHY GET OUT THERE remember no matter what it is you that matters dont waste your life unhappy move forward I do not regret one day, I still have bad ones but so does everyone and it has not been easy I have had to fight loads of demons and I can 100% say I have kicked arse.... I still have a long way to go... but I will be fully female at the end inc the removal of all parts that should not be there... they have to go... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :) xxx
I have not updated for ages I have had so much going on in my head that I did not want to put anything negative on here, well its all over now head clear and I am not so bad right now. I went to College today to try and get on a course and I did it, I even had to sit an English test this might not sound much to others but to me it was one of the biggest things I have done, English frightens the life out of me so much, and I was gob smacked to learn that I got a very good mark in it..... that must have something to do with this site and all the typing I have been doing, and to top all that off I did all that as Karla and enrolled as Karla, I have never done anything even remotely this hard in my life I have now made one big step and I know that is all I needed to make me take even bigger ones, I am going to change so much over the next weeks and I am so looking forward to this, I know this is going to be hard for some people to understand and I can understand why but they have to understand that I need to be happy and the only way I can do this is to be Karla as this is me.... I am the same person I was 10 years ago but without all the lies and hiding away.. I am from today truly happy in my life more than I have ever been before I have a wonderful family who understand me and want me to be who I am, and I promise I am never going to go back to the days when I was wanting to die and hated myself..... the only way in life to be truly happy is to be your self NEVER NEVER NEVER let anything get in your way ever don't grow old with regrets I nearly did just thank the big Lady up there that I was brave enough to move forward with my life. I know have things to do in the next week or two, I need to change my name as I no longer am know in my old name, also I need some new skirts lol... the skirts are a must.... and then its time to tell mum and dad the truth, this is going to be hard for then to take and I will do my best to do it as nice as I can.... I cant keep this in any more... I do have family who know and they have not full accepted me and that's fine I still love the bones of them and always will... one day I know all will be fine and dandy in the rose garden of Karla :) I don't think its going to kill anyone me telling them yes shock but not kill lol.... but if any member of my family want to talk to them well its fine by me I am 100 miles away and its hard to do this face to face... well going for a bath now ....
I have just had enough now, people who don't know about me will have to find out, I am sick of not being able to do what I want this ends today no more will I take any crap, and why should I, please if you have a problem with this take it up with some one who gives a crap... I get up of a morning and get out what I am going to wear but because of people not knowing about me I have to remove things and dress more down, yes I wear female things 100% of the time but its what I wear that is the problem, well rant over on a god note I am getting my eyebrows waxed and tinted along with my eye lashes might even get a hair cut not sure on that right now.... well I must run I can hear a little baby calling me to come and get him out of his cot :) xxx
I was Going for the Goth look
I have also just had a call from my doctor who is sorting my appointment out for the GIC and it should be posted next week, I did say it would come quick it will not be long until I am fully female parts and all :) cant wait to get this chopped off.....
Good morning :) I have been thinking about doing a course in collage and I have decided a beauty course is the way to go, so I started looking at them and there is one I can do at weekends and of a evening in nails, but I also will need to do English and maths both I am poop at so not sure what to do, I am sure I will sort something soon, but before I do I will have to change my name as I would need all my qualifications in my new name, so must get on to that ASAP. I can do nails and I am not bad at it to tell the truth and I love doing them too... I will pop a photo up of someone's nails I did last night and I am doing someone's tonight too... well going now :)
Nails by Karla :)
its gone 10pm now so must get off to bed its been a good day in all the sun has been out and so have I :) tomorrow is not looking that good at all rain rain rain and more rain is on the way..... tonight I did my nails not sure if they look ok just cant wait to get them done right, as I am not very good at doing my own lol make up I can do not this, well must sleep up early good night x
What a lovely day it is today and one of the best things about it is I get to spend it with the people I love :) we decided to go out to a car boot sale today as the weather is just great, and I got to wear my new wedges and they are just lovely :) I did get snapped in a photo lol so it will be posted down there if you look.... Yesterday was a good day too I am now 100% sure I pass as female something I have always wanted to do and I know how good I look :) it feels just great when you get called a lady and are treated the same way when you have waited your whole life for this and then it happens the feeling is great and its just like a drug you want more and more and more, and I will get it. I cant wait for my appointment to come for the GIC this will be very soon I know this because if you want something bad enough well just believe and you will get it, if you think I am talking crap well just wait and see as I know all will go forward quick, but one thing I do want is a new dress and I will get that also it has to be long to my feet and low cut ;) so just thought I would pop that out into the universe....
I was at the doctors today to ask him for a referral to the GIC well all went well as it should have, he is going to do this for me and also told me he has no problem with giving the hormones I need, when I have seen the GIC. All in all a good day I now know all this will come round quick I will not have to wait long at all, I have waited years and that's all come to an end now, I am also going to do some volunteering work as I want to get out there and help people their is always someone in need, I will do this in the next week or two, as the good book says anything is possible as long as you believe.... :) well need to pop off now for something to eat :) x
Even just for a week having to be someone your not is so hard, I can't do it this is killing me inside I just want to hide in my room and not come out, not sure people understand how much that hurts, silly little things to others like makeup and wearing something nice, this is important to me so much, then having this taken away even just for a week trying to act more male I don't know how to do this any more.. I can not turn myself off and on at the click of a finger, and even of I could I would not want to, life is getting hard I thought when you grow up have children and settle down life was suppose to get easy, I am considering cutting my hair later this is my choice and mine alone.
I so need to go and see my Doctor not later not next week or month, I need it soon... if I dont get this sorted in the next 2 weeks I will go bloody mad, I am just a little worried that they will look at me and tell me to pissoff if I get rejected like that I would run and never go back and try again.... so this is a big step for me.. it is only the doctor I will be fine after that.
That was a long drive today the rain was so bad I had to drive slow, and for me that's hard, but better safe than sorry. I have tonight be using the Hula Hoop again, but now I am in just a little pain and by a little pain I mean bloody loads of pain lol... this will not stop me at all because I like pain like that ;) .... wow I have just been called a sexy lady man lol thanks our lovely DJ.... you can come here any time... well must go now and moan about the pain in my side... :)
On way to Liverpool today and the m6 is bloody wet wet wet... Now pulled over into sand batch services, have a quick smoke drink then off again, it's just a flying visit and home, well off to the toilet lol xxx
I never got a chance to go to Birmingham Pride today, I am not sure that the other half would have been ok... with the baby bump and all that, well next year we will be there and it will be a 100% different me!! we could have driven there but not sure I could be arsed with the traffic :)... but we did meet some great friends in town today... we have not seen them for so long this is something I am not going to let happen once the baby is here.. we need to catch up more with people.... well must pop off now need to get a bath after doing the hula hoop for an hour..
My god I feel like crap... lol I am now working the cold out of me Hula Hoop is the way to go I think also might drop a pound or 4... we are hoping to be at Birmingham Pride tomorrow all depends on how we feel and the weather, also the baby, it should be a good day if we make it I will pop up loads and loads of photos if I do... but must remember to charge the camera up tonight... must go need to sort myself out.......
Being Transgender or Gay is not a choice, being Transphobic or Homophobic is, so don't be a Twonk